2017 – The Year of Family

It has been a year to remember, it’s been both extremely good and extremely bad. One for the books and one that I shall always remember as “the year of family”. On the side of  the best, I gained a daughter-in-law this year! That was one of the happiest days of my wordswag_1514661303491life! I have spent the past 5 years praying that my son find someone to spend his life with, that completes him and makes him very happy. She was made to order, so perfect in every way. To make things even better, I now have another grandchild on the way, their first, and the family continues to grow.

There is also regret with the family, regret for things said that can never be unsaid. Moments of anger that create lifetimes of hard feelings. Words can never be taken back, apologies are sometimes not enough. I didn’t create the situation, but I do take full responsibility for my part in it, for that I am very sorry.  I hope that there is time to heal before time runs out.

God gave me time, very precious time, to spend with close family. Time to say what was in my heart, to hear what was in hers. Time to love and be loved, to share the bond of sisters before she transitioned out of this world and on to the next. Here, the words spoken were filled with love and I treasure that time together.

The year has revolved around family, we had good times and we had bad times. I can’t change the bad times, I can only learn from them and move forward. 2018 will be the year of a new baby, new chances to repair relationships, new hope in moving forward. Lessons learned … it’s better to wait for calm than to speak in anger. When it seems that time has run out, love brings blessings and peace. I have learned that you should never wait until time is running out to talk to someone you love … you never know what tomorrow might bring. Don’t waste time with anger and hurt … when they are no longer there, will any of it matter?

 

Happy 2017

dscn4151It’s been some time since I’ve written and I think that it’s time to get back into the groove of things! Sitting here thinking about the coming year, I realize that the one word that seems to keep coming to mind is “change”. This is the year of change. For some, that’s a scary word, for others it’s exciting. One thing that I’ve learned along the way, without change you are always going to stay exactly where you are, doing what you’re currently doing, the same way you’ve always done it.

“What’s wrong with that”, you might be wondering. Nothing, if you are satisfied with your life as it is. Most of those that I speak with aren’t satisfied with where they are in life. They want to be happier, healthier, wealthier, or you can fill in the blank with whatever word works for you. These same people are afraid of change, so they stay where they are … wishing for things to be different but not wanting to do anything to MAKE them different.

Had I not “changed” what I did physically and what I thought mentally, I would still be just existing in life, not living it. There is a big difference between the two. I have found that living life is much more fun than just existing and dealing with a chronic illness. There is a very large world out there, even if it is just making the world at your home a peaceful place filled with love and happiness, I believe that everyone can achieve that.

The change doesn’t come from outside, it comes from inside of you. No amount of purchasing “things” can bring about the change you desire. There are things that can help you to help yourself, but they are only tools and if you don’t use them, there will be no change.

I believe that the birthright of every person on this earth is to live in peace and happiness. Maybe that’s a bit idealistic … there is so much suffering in the world. But you’ve all heard stories of those in horrendous situations that have still managed to find peace in their lives. They are very inspirational stories to be sure, but we seem to just look at them as something that person did, but that we could never do. Why? Why do we think that? The hardest part of changing your life is letting go of the fear that you just can’t do it!

I believe that you can … I don’t think that it’s easy, but it is worth the effort. I am here to show you that it is. I no longer have MS controlling my life, I control my life and that is empowering. In 2017 why don’t you embrace change? It’s time to move forward, not just tread water. I challenge you to let go of your fears and begin by playing with the idea that change is good … and that you are worth the effort it takes to make changes.

What do you Fear?

There are times that I sit at my desk and wonder why is it that some people are so reluctant to make changes in their lives. They will admit that they need to change the way they are doing things, and then they still don’t change anything. They will tell me that they know their lives will be so much better if they just do this one thing … and then they won’t do it.

Why is that? If one small change will create a better life for you, why wouldn’t you do it? It would seem like a “no-brainer” as the saying goes. The greatest challenge to making even one very small change, is fear. Why would you be afraid of changing? I have discovered that most people don’t like change. No matter how uncomfortable they are in the space they occupy, it’s an uncomfortable that they know how to deal with.

The “what if’s” start to appear when they begin to think about a life after this small change. They start experiencing resistance, many times resistance that they have created even though they don’t realize it at the time. They become too busy, they are going to start tomorrow, it cost too much money, it takes too much time. If they make this change, it changes the status quo of their living arrangements, what if the other person doesn’t like them anymore? The list of “what if’s” can be a very long one and so can the list of reasons “why not”?

Fear is a difficult thing for many people to deal with. It is paralyzing at times, even if they know that they will be better if they do this. My advILVCertifiedCoachLogo-300x113ice has always been to not go it alone. To start small with something that you can accept mentally. Stay positive as you make that small step forward so that your brain doesn’t begin to override and squash your progress. As you get stronger moving forward, your brain begins to accept that this is OK and that’s good news. The bad news is that your brain might find a new fear to work on.

As you conquer each new fear, each new form of resistance, you are moving toward your goals. That’s a good thing! Whatever change it is that you are looking to make, take a deep breath, hold a positive thought about it, and take that first step forward. You deserve to live the life you were born to live. Don’t let fear keep you from that ideal life.